Remember the song “Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)”? It was a hit in 1999, and took the form of dispensing advice over a rambling and varied beat. At one point it says something like “the real worries in your life are apt to be things that blindside you on some idle Tuesday”. This literally happened to me. It was a Tuesday towards the end of April in 2026. I was driving to a dentist appointment, and suddenly I was overcome with an awful realisation. I never did anything I said I was going to. If I’d have followed through on intentions — pretty much since my teenage years — I’d speak dozens of languages, have published multiple books, saved many thousands of pounds, play at least one instrument to grade 8 standard, have a helpful evening and morning routine, be at my ideal weight and body shape… you get the picture. I know that it’s not helpful to dwell on things undone, after all, there were plenty of other things happening in my life over the years, some of which couldn’t be ignored — having children, for example — but on the whole, I decided, I hadn’t used my time wisely. I knew this because it wasn’t just about the achievements I hadn’t managed. Each one of the achievements had been an intention. For years, I had told myself I would start learning a language. And, having learnt one to a decent level of fluency, I would take up another, then another, and so on. But I didn’t. I kept telling myself I’d get to it someday. And guess what? Someday never arrived. Oh, I dabbled, but I never really committed to it, and consequently, I still only have an extremely rudimentary grasp of any languages other than English. If I’d have done what I said I was going to do, I could be multi-lingual by now. Like I say, it isn’t just about the fact that I wasn’t, it was that I had the intention (and the means) to do it, and I didn’t. Apply this to any number of things I wanted for myself.
In 2023, I started a program of self-development for myself. Bits of it were based in other self-development itineraries I’d tried, but quite a lot of it was of my own making. The idea behind it was that I would add in new area goals each month, giving myself the opportunity to make good with habits and achievements before moving on to the next thing. It saw some successes, and nearly 3 years after starting, I was up on my life score (a way I tracked how successful I was being) by nearly 150%. But there was still a nagging feeling that I wasn’t really leaning into it properly. Goals went unattended to, and fell by the wayside, even early in their existence. For example, in around March 2024, I started a new job in secondary maths teaching. I’d been a primary school teacher up until that point, and it had been a while since I’d done anything past GCSE maths, so I decided to take up A-Level maths again: relearn it. Two years later, I hadn’t so much as picked up the book. Once more, the intention was there, but the execution was lacking. If I’d started it when I said I was going to, I’d have been nearly finished by the time I had my Tuesday afternoon realisation.
So what does this have to do with gnus? Most of us will have given ourselves a New Year’s resolution, only to find that we never even made a start on it; or certainly didn’t keep it up for long. If you want to tell me you’ve never done that, you’re either a) lying to yourself; or b) lying to both of us. My bet is on b). You will have told yourself that you’re gnu do this, or you’re gnu do that. And then it stayed as a gnu, and never made it to the actual doing of it. Sound familiar? You’re not alone! One statistic suggests that over 80% of us who make New Year resolutions, don’t follow it through after the end of January. So why is that?
The short answer is that I believe it comes down to determining one’s happiness window.
One of the key things, I believe, is to determine where your happiness window is. Do you want to be happy in the immediate-, short-, medium-, or long-term. Rarely are these compatible. There is no one right answer.
Imagine you were deciding what to eat for dinner. You might weigh up several options: a takeaway, home-cooked lasagne, steak, or a substantial salad. The takeaway may give you immediate happiness – it satisfies a base urge – but even in the short-to-medium term it doesn’t pay out, as inevitably one ends up regretting it as you feel queasy and greasy. The lasagne sounds like a good option, and to some extent it is – home-cooked is often a good option – but it’s still laden with cheese and red meat. If your longer-term goal is to lose weight, then the short-term fix of enjoying a lasagne won’t get you there. A steak offers something closer to longer-term happiness. It can be lean, and maybe you’d cook it with sweet potato fries and broccoli, something that can be a healthy option. Maybe also, eating this with your partner will give you pleasure, as it’s something you both enjoy. If you’re anything like me, even something as simple as this can give memories that last. However, again, if your long-term goal is to shed the pounds, this might still not be the optimum option. So to the salad. In the short term, I’m sure most of us will agree that it won’t bring as much pleasure or happiness as the other options. And in the short or medium terms, it probably won’t either. But in the long term, it’s the best option for health. Now, you might decide that you aren’t bothered by the longer-term ramifications of your decision, in which case, get the greasy burger from your local takeaway, and enjoy! There’s no judgement here. But just know that there are consequences.
There is always pain – either now or later: the choice is yours.
So whether you’re working out what to eat, how to spend your time, or what to do with your money, be intentional. Decide what your preferred window of happiness is, and make the decision that gives you that outcome. That way, in 10 years’ time, you won’t look back on your life and think: “I was gnu do that…”.
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